One-Woman Costume Contest

“I either won the costume contest… or there is no costume contest,” I thought as I sped down the start straight at Glen Helen Raceway, the heavy skirt of my Oktoberfest Beer Maid costume flapping in the wind. Of the several hundred riders in attendance at the annual Octobercross REM race at Glen Helen, I was the only one dressed up. As the laps continued on, I tried to recall whether or not I had read the correct race flyer that clearly stated: “Prize for best costume on the track.” Well, here I was, rocking the hell out of this dirndl that almost perfectly matched my Kawasaki KX250, my hair in two pigtail braids and my fresh graphics that arrived just in time for the occasion. If there was any prize, I was ready to collect it, without question. It’s the least I deserved from enduring the stifling heat and the wind drag from this costume. I mean… it was probably at least a 2-hp disadvantage. That’s my story, anyway.

Fortunately for me, Mr. Pablo Verde has no shortage of power. This was our first time at Glen Helen, and I’ve been really looking forward to unleashing my KX250 on the big power-robbing hills of the main track. We’ve spent plenty of time lately at Cahuilla Creek MX and Fox Raceway (Pala), but it’s a different style of riding altogether when you can hold it open and charge up hillsides. To this point, I had yet to experience anything beyond a touch of fourth gear on Pablo, but I was nonetheless acutely aware that the motor is the shining point of the 2020 Kawasaki KX250, and eager to let it shine.

From the moment I held the throttle open down the long, loamy start straight, through the next two turns and up the hill, all I could think was “Holy cow this thing is a rocket!” From the mid- to top-end the power just pours on—so much so that I found myself needing to upshift about 2/3 of the way up Mt. Saint Helens. Needing to upshift on the hill actually caught me off guard; can’t say I ever got to do that on my previous bike. This KX250 is a screamer! It’s truly amazing to feel the amount of power that now comes from a stock 249cc four-stroke. Aside from contemplating the fine line between contest winner and complete idiot, the other thought in my mind was how much more thrust I might have without the wind drag from this skirt.

What goes up must come down. The steep descent down the other side of Mt Saint Helens, rippled with braking bumps, can be a little scary. But that’s where the powerful oversize front brake had its turn to flex some muscle. Even as the day pressed on and the braking bumps grew into moguls (which were then watered to a nice greasy finish), I never felt out of shape on the downhills, thank goodness.

I was glad to know that Pablo has Glen Helen’s power-robbing hills handled. If the race had consisted entirely of start straights and hill climbs, I would have crushed it, no doubt. But that brings me to the other thing you’ll find at the Glen… bumps. LOTS of them. While Cahuilla Creek is the kind of track that makes you feel like a hero with its big sandy turns and flowing lines everywhere, Glen Helen is pretty much the opposite of that. It’s the great equalizer. If there is anything lacking in your fitness or in your setup, you’re going to feel it right away. Are your tires getting worn? Are your brakes feeling spongy? Did you forget to bleed your fork? Did you recently turn 40? You’re about to feel everything wrong with your setup at Glen Helen.

PHOTOS: Kyoshi Photography

As well as we’ve done with the stock suspension setup on the KX, there’s a limit to how well it can perform for someone of my size and ability. I could get away with a comfortable stock setting at a place like Cahuilla, but not here. The reality check is in, and it clearly shows the need for a suspension revalve and softer springs. That’s next on the list. But for today, we were going to do the best we could.

Octobercross REM is the biggest race of the year for the REM motocross series, and it provides a good prequel for the Vet MX World Championship the following weekend. There was a large turnout with a lot of international competitors preparing for the big race next weekend. Several wanted to take pics with the girl in the ridiculous costume, to which I was happy to oblige.

“What’s the meanin’ o’ this,” asked a curious Irishman. Other countries don’t share our festive fascination for playing dress-up on Halloween, as it turns out. I had to explain to my Irish friend that Americans go kind of mental for Halloween (all present evidence to the contrary). “Oh…” he replied, slowly looking around at a sea of normally dressed motocross racers. It was difficult to explain why I felt there was a costume contest happening at that particular moment. Whatever. We’re here, and I’m rockin’ it.

The large turnout also meant some incredibly fast racers, including women from around the world. My new friend Anita from Norway was among several ladies who completely dusted me. I kept them in my sights for less than a lap, and went on to ride a very lonely race. At least my costume didn’t get roosted.

You can imagine my delight at the end of the day to find out not only that I had earned third in the race with my 3-4 finish, but that there WAS, in fact, a costume contest. As I turned in my transponder, I proudly declared myself the winner by default, and awaited my prize: a pair of AME grips, and new EKS Brand goggles. SCORE!! Now who’s the idiot?! (Still me, I know…)

While I intend to make some aftermarket mods to Pablo before our next trip to the starting line, I’m happy with our first race effort. I know we have outstanding power and great chassis; now just need to bring the suspension into my realm and we’re going to be in business.

Thanks, Glen Helen and REM for the great race, thank you to EKS Brand for the loot, and also, thanks to everyone else for not dressing up. I may have looked like fool, but I’m an fool with a new set of EKS-S goggles and AME grips!

November 1, 2021